Other Wardrobe Choices For Melania
What will the First Lady wear next?
FLOTUS has worn high heels to survey hurricane damage and an apathetic-messaged army jacket to tour prisons sequestering asylum-seeking children from their families. Let’s predict Melania’s next sartorial choices!
A fair-aisle sweater knitted with the word “CHILLY” and decorated with polar bears and their cubs, to oversee an ICE sweep at a meat packing facility.
Riding boots over jodhpurs to watch wild horses get rounded up and culled by the Bureau of Land Management.
A rhinestone encrusted water bottle sling, holding a “White House” labeled water bottle, worn over the shoulder during a visit to Flint, Michigan.
A silk blouse that says “I (heart) Aunt Lydia” in Comic Sans font, worn to a UN conference on Women’s Rights.
A gold nameplate necklace worn while rallying voters in swing states. The necklace says “no pee-pee tape” in Russian Cyrillic.
A beaded headband with a feather in the middle, worn to welcome copper mining companies to Utah’s Grand Staircase-Escalante National Monument.
A silver belt buckle with the word “NUKES” boldly displayed across it, while visiting South Korea.
A sweatshirt emblazoned on the front with, “If you can read this you’re in my way,” to visit a children’s literacy campaign.
A fun, summery dress patterned with illustrations of candy bars and ice cream cones at a trip to tour food pantries for hungry communities.
A fascinator hat with a miniature tent bouncing on a little wire, to a tour homeless encampments around D.C.
A satin bomber jacket, the word “bootstraps” embroidered across the back, worn to visit opioid treatment centers in Ohio.
A #BeBest beauty queen sash worn to her husband’s impeachment trails.
A MAGA baseball hat as she departs the White House for the last time.
Marissa Maciel has written for The Hairpin, The Toast, Queen Mob’s Teahouse, Daily Shouts on The New Yorker, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, and Belladonna Comedy. Follow her @standardtuber and visit marissamaciel.org.
