If Ina Garten Were Your Best Friend

Marissa Maciel
5 min readNov 6, 2020

If Ina Garten were your best friend, you’d drink white wine inside the house, red wine outside, but only when Jeffrey was around. When he isn’t home, which is always, she’d offer you a big snifter of whiskey and you’d sit on top of her amazingly huge countertop while you drank, eating brownies and mac-and-cheese.

Illustrated photo of me in Ina’s kitchen
Me and Ina — you know!

If Ina Garten were your best friend, she’d always ask you if the collar on her shirts…

Marissa Maciel

Writer, Illustrator. Work in Points in Case, Weekly Humorist, Entropy Magazine, New Yorker Tiny Shouts, McSweeney’s, and more! All work -> marissamaciel.com