A Guide to the Forthcoming “Parade of Wolves”
A “Straight Pride Parade” has been planned in Boston for August 31, 2019. “We filed a discrimination complaint and it appears the City of Boston understands they would lose in litigation.”
The Parade of Wolves is intended to bring wolf culture into the spotlight and on to the village streets!
We never left the streets actually, since everyone leaves us alone all the time. The villagers accept our wolf ways, and we have come to co-exist by not feasting on their people, just other animals in the forest. Most of us know that it’s not acceptable to eat people anymore.
But some of us were feeling particularly sad, because it seemed like the villagers were having too much fun not worrying about the wolves all the time. And these wolves started getting disappointed in the fact that they couldn’t have fun in the old fashioned wolf way, of mercilessly attacking villagers and breaking their spirits at every opportunity.
And when the villagers themselves had a parade to celebrate their survival in the face of our restrictive and barbaric wolf ways, the sad ones among us howled to the village — they have to hear our howls because it’s a law that even if the howling is evil you have to listen — and now, here we are! With a parade to remind the village that the wolves are still capable of ruining their lives!
Allow me to tell you to what to expect from this parade:
- A float depicting the wolves having a “traditional” wolf dinner, with an animatronic villager being consumed by a wolf pack
- Another float depicting the wolves in a menacing circle around a group of villagers just trying to go about their daily business
- Wolves walking down the street just like they always do, but it’s a part of the parade somehow
- A reenactment of the time the wolves attacked a villager’s party for no reason other than “the villagers were having fun”
- A float depicting wolves struggling on the streets after their traditional wolf families cast them out for liking villagers
- A group of wolves trying to make a wolf pup stop being friends with a villager child
- Wolf music (which is really just villager music sung badly)
One thing that we know will likely not be on display at the Parade of Wolves: pictures of prominent wolves — who have publicly stated their dislike of villagers — engaging in pro-villager relationships and fun. These wolves say they hate villagers, but then you turn around and see a photo of a villager walking them on a leash. Why not just admit that you like villagers and be done with it? Perhaps it’s because then they would lose their audience of fellow village-haters, and with that their only claim to power?
These are deep questions us wolves need to ask ourselves. But existential inquiry is not something you can easily put on a parade float. Especially for a group of wolves who can barely stand to be honest with one another. But not in a villager way!
For now, let us never forget that wolves get to live their lives in full display all the time everywhere and no one ever tries to stop them or get in their way because they’ve skewed the power structures forever to the point where villagers have to fight for their very freedom even now when the wolves seemed to be working with them, by watching our parade.
And remember — vote for the wolves in the next election!
